Overcome the Dragon Slayers

Why is it that in the stories, the hero slays the dragon? Because the collective psyche is that difference should be vanquished for the supposed sake of the majority.

Why do I mention this? Recently I had a dear friend who was in a state of confusion. She wants to be an artist, she’s made a good head start and is very talented. But she’s also an accomplished graduate. Societal expectations are for her to go and get a “proper” job, join a graduate scheme or some such similar thing. She was getting maternal advice from her mother’s friends to get a “cool job in London”. Jobs that seemed attractive, making use of her artistic talent such as PR. The long-lived dream of being the centre city high flyer which is so seductive to many.

Nothing is wrong with that advice, in most ways it is sensible, given out of care and concern for security. That is why we slay the dragon, to eliminate danger and uncertainty.

However, you cannot change your scales and I said as much. People can be majorly persuasive and you want to feel like the choices you make are the “right” ones. Which is usually decided by validation through the opinion of others. But ultimately, you should not go into a job for the long term that isn’t your passion. What happens is you end up working for the sake of working and because you feel purposeless it results in burnout and what you equate with failure.

No one can decide what’s right for you. Not your mother, father, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, puppy or magical elf fairy. They could all unintentionally be dragon slayers in disguise. The dragon stands alone when it makes decisions, when it breathes fire.

I hope you’ve found this blog post useful, please feel free to pass it on and share it with others who might also find it interesting. And feel free to comment, to share your thoughts, to discuss. Ideas are the paintbox of life.



How Your Dragon Can Give You Instant Confidence


There are times you need to become the dragon, but mostly this is not the case.

There’s a reason I refer to it as the dragon within.

It’s not about being aggressive, arrogant or pushy. It’s about carrying an inner confidence with you ALL the time. You can feel truly liberated within yourself, you don’t have to prove yourself to anybody. Why? Because secretly you are a dragon.

Once you realise this and become aware of it, you won’t need to ‘build your confidence’. You will have access to it right here, right now. What you will need to build is practising that awareness, practising that realisation that the dragon was and is always there.

Take a moment and think of a favourite action, adventure or martial arts film. Now there’s always a hero/heroine. Chances are you dream of being this person.

What sets the hero apart? What usually makes them so attractive and identifiable?

He or she is usually perceived as quiet, calm , they never tend to look for a fight, but when it’s time to be the hero they shock everyone. In this phase they usually either overcome their own self-doubt and insecurity, proving it to themselves or else they are the brooding type who knew it all along.

They always have a higher purpose and draw confidence from their inner strength which they ultimately realise they always had and always will have.

Yes confidence can be built but you know what? You have that confidence and that justified defiance in you already! Build instead your belief and understanding of that fact, your belief in the dragon within.

Do you think I was always confident? Aha, nope…. This brings up again the concept of the mental and physical dragon.

As a young girl I was physically strong, my 8 year old body would readily endure hard training my mental and physical dragons came alive and flew together as one during training but outside of this, the mental dragon refused to raise its head because I was unaware of its existence.

I was unaware that confidence, that my dragon, could be consciously realised. It took me a good while.

But I want you to realise today, now, THIS VERY SECOND!

Say it…..No matter how silly you may feel, even if it is in your head to begin with say it:  ‘I am strong’

‘I am confident’

‘I am filled with the power of my dragon, there’s only one person who needs to believe it and that person is me!’

Does some small or hopefully large part of you believe this now? Yes? Good.

Others will follow suit……I promise. 


I hope my words are helping you in some small way to realise what you have already and I welcome, no, encourage any comments, ideas, feedback or questions you may have. Please feel free to leave them below.

The Tale of Two Dragons

‘Two?!’ I hear you exclaim, ‘I thought there was only one?’ As seems to be the most confusing concept in most every religion from the Holy Trinity to the Holy Trimurti. All these are aspects of the same whole that appear to follow different purposes but in fact fulfil one ultimate goal.

These two dragons are what I refer to as the ‘Physical Dragon’ and the ‘Mental Dragon’.

Yeah, I haven’t tried to be cryptic and mysterious with the names. As the Dragon refers to your inner strength, the Physical Dragon is your reserve of physical strength. Everyone possesses this reserve. It’s always there but never truly realised till you are pushed to your physical limits. The dragon, the animalistic instinct and power possessed by us all awakes and emerges. People can and have drawn on this dragon in all manner of situations, from the direst of emergency where lives are at stake to being able to do that extra 10 reps in the gym.

The Mental Dragon is all to do with will-power, the mental strength to carry on, and the mental belief in your ability to achieve anything, to persevere no matter how much you want to scream and cry and pull your own skin off. When this dragon takes control of you, you take control of yourself.

Now imagine this, these two dragons that are identical in appearance, circle each other. The smoke of their breath erupts in short huffs from their scaly nostrils. Then they take two steps, extend their wings and lift into the sky. They circle each other, each bites the other’s tail. Their motion must be fluid and continuous in order to keep flying.

It is like the over-used yet ever-relevant concept of yin and yang. Seeming opposites that are part of the same whole constantly moving and mixing to find harmony.

It’s difficult to mentally feel strong if physically you are weak. It is difficult to be physically strong if you are mentally weak. Having both is not essential, but in my experience, they feed each other and are inherent to each other. Both are relative very specifically to you as a person, what you want and what you need to make happen in your life.

Now one example I can think of that illustrates this concept perfectly is the UFC Mixed Martial Arts fight between Gyu Lim and Tarrec Saffiedine. Since this is a fairly recent fight you’ll have to forgive the quality of the video link below, but it serves our purposes here.

This is not about who won the fight. Gyu Lim did not win the fight. What he did do was incite the two dragons and shock us all with his warrior’s spirit.

Naturally I would recommend watching the whole fight but for those of you who aren’t raging MMA or fight enthusiasts I’d like to highlight two crucial points.

At 19 seconds, Lim loses his leg to Saffiedine’s kick. It seems as if the fight is over. Lim limps on and his whole manner changes, determined but physically and now mentally defeated.

4min 46 seconds in Lim is barely surviving. But then the two dragons rouse each other. Right at the end, just as the round is drawing to a close, he unleashes an incredible flurry of strikes and a flying knee that knocks his opponent into a submissive position. This does not win the fight overall but this does not take anything away from what he manages to achieve. Lim’s mental will combined with the underlying strength of his injured body compels him to this act. Without both it could never have happened……

The two dragons circle and fly. They become one.Image

What is the dragon???

So you’re probably wondering what the heck I mean by the dragon? And “finding it”?…..I can see eyebrows raising.

No, I’m not referring to a boyfriend’s term for what’s in his trousers or to re-creative drug use. I am not currently surrounded by dragons in either the mythical or boardroom sense.

I in fact refer to something you might not have envisaged at all……

When I was a little girl of 6 I engaged in typical little girly pursuits. I played with dolls and drew on my cheeks with my mother’s lipstick…….

As a 6 year old what also began was a question from my dad to my brother and I:

‘So, are you ready to learn how to fight?’

Thus began my training in and introduction to the mysterious world of Martial Arts.

When I was doing well in training, my father had a very specific pet name for me.

It was not “princess” or “flower”. It was “lady dragon”. That was the first time I came to associate the term dragon with empowerment. A power I could only find within myself. As I grew I also understood what it was to feel powerless, to be different, weird, unaccepted and all the time an ironically submissive personality who wanted to please, avoided confrontation at all costs and was honest at my own cost.

So I know how that feels. And I know how to overcome it, that’s what I want to share with you. Fighting was my personal way to find it but Inside us all is a dragon, coiled and waiting. When you realise this, you realise the immense power you possess. It is enough to feel this is true until you know this is true. Is it not a wonderful thing to realise that you have an inner reserve of strength to draw on that is unique to you? Not yet? You will…….