I am Alive! ……And I have wings! A massive revelation unfolds

Though I intend this post to begin light heartedly, it will ultimately lead to an incredible experience I had a few evenings ago which I want to share and which YOU can replicate if you take the time to understand it. What will you gain? Wings, I will give you wings and an intenseness of feeling that is difficult to describe but which I will attempt. It is accessible to everyone through a simple phrase and, now this is important, experiencing a sudden shift in perception.

What differentiates a dragon from a giant lizard or a dinosaur? ……..It can fly (ok yes and usually breathe fire though not always, let us not forget the ice alpha dragon in How to Train Your Dragon…….not that I use that as a reference point ordinarily). Not all mythology quotes dragons with wings. But they can all fly which is why in some traditions they are depicted as the guardians of heaven.

Now we come to the SERIOUS part so take a deep breath in an out. Have a moment of silence…… If you want to experience the same intense joy I did, then take a minute or so to seriously contemplate the following.

I want to share an experience I had a few evenings ago.

I’m not going to pretend that everything is fine and dandy in my world, neither will I get into the specifics of that just right now as it’s not important.

Walking home in the darkness as Winter encroaches. I am sure many of you will have experienced such a downward plummet in positivity. A certain listlessness, hopelessness or even lack of purpose. You feel drained, perhaps you are returning from a hard day’s work and are exhausted. If this job is your average laborious drudgery this feeling may well be heightened, though even a job you love on icy nights such as these can leave you drained.

I walked along and became suddenly aware of the way my footsteps caused the gravel to crunch. The sound seemed to reverberate out into the abandoned street.

Then something happened. Something that on the face of it does not seem spectacular and yet, when you register it internally. When you really FEEL it, changes your whole world.

A voice within me simply said the following three, words:

“I am alive…”

I said it gain

“I am alive”

Next time I shouted it out loud “I’m alive!!!!”

I am alive

Right now I am alive. Never is anything real but my aliveness in that moment.

Nothing so terrible in this world has defeated me. Look at me, I live.

Here I stand, here I breathe. In and out. Here I clasp my hands. I choose each step.

…..I am alive……Why not be happy? In the game of life I am winning because here I stand. Because I stand I am victorious.

A warrior still breathing, not vanquished, never vanquished.

All of a sudden everything gained a new glamour, a new vibrancy, richness. It was like everything came into focus because it shared the aliveness of my perception.

The Christmas lights twinkling like electric fruits, like otherworldly jewels looming out amidst the darkness from the trees and houses seemed a fairy show all for me.

I began to run, my breath flowing out in humid clouds, saying the words “I am alive” over and over again and all of a sudden the wind was rushing by my ears and I was flying. I was flying through the air with no thought for the next moment, only the fulfilling rush of the present. The blood in my veins. The sacredness of life, of animation, of flight.

Since that night the knowledge of life has sustained me. Brought me back to the present whenever I have felt myself drift into despair. Nothing is more real.

Take a short moment to contemplate this….

I hope you’ve found this blog post useful, please feel free to pass it on and share it with others who might also find it interesting. And please do comment, share your thoughts. They may well inspire others. Ideas are the paintbox of life.

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Overcome the Dragon Slayers

Why is it that in the stories, the hero slays the dragon? Because the collective psyche is that difference should be vanquished for the supposed sake of the majority.

Why do I mention this? Recently I had a dear friend who was in a state of confusion. She wants to be an artist, she’s made a good head start and is very talented. But she’s also an accomplished graduate. Societal expectations are for her to go and get a “proper” job, join a graduate scheme or some such similar thing. She was getting maternal advice from her mother’s friends to get a “cool job in London”. Jobs that seemed attractive, making use of her artistic talent such as PR. The long-lived dream of being the centre city high flyer which is so seductive to many.

Nothing is wrong with that advice, in most ways it is sensible, given out of care and concern for security. That is why we slay the dragon, to eliminate danger and uncertainty.

However, you cannot change your scales and I said as much. People can be majorly persuasive and you want to feel like the choices you make are the “right” ones. Which is usually decided by validation through the opinion of others. But ultimately, you should not go into a job for the long term that isn’t your passion. What happens is you end up working for the sake of working and because you feel purposeless it results in burnout and what you equate with failure.

No one can decide what’s right for you. Not your mother, father, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, puppy or magical elf fairy. They could all unintentionally be dragon slayers in disguise. The dragon stands alone when it makes decisions, when it breathes fire.

I hope you’ve found this blog post useful, please feel free to pass it on and share it with others who might also find it interesting. And feel free to comment, to share your thoughts, to discuss. Ideas are the paintbox of life.

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You ARE Special- You Are a Dragon

Let me tell you something. When I tell you it you will LISTEN. You will hear these words in your mind as you read them because you KNOW them to be true. Because I speak them from the heart.

I don’t know who you are and therefore it is impossible for me to say anything with bias or judgement, not that I would. I would say the same thing if you were stood right in front of me.

You ARE special. You are different. And that’s not wrong. This is nothing to do with conceit or excuses. People these days say someone is a bit “special” to insult them. This heeds back to an idiotic action or weirdness or being out of place but its ok because patronisingly so that person is special or having a special moment.

It’s because people fear difference. They fear it in others but they also fear it in themselves. There is safety in numbers. In uniformity. Difference is unknown and it stands alone from the other known things. It goes against the instinct for safety. It’s also how every major achievement or progression in human history has occurred.

The difference in you is a great one. Not great as in big. It can be big or small or anything else in between. Great as in meaningful. You don’t have to accomplish anything in your life at all. It’s enough to simply be happy. To be happy there must be acceptance. Not simple indifference. I mean acceptance of non-acceptance. Of the fact that you are a dragon. You are special. You are substantial.

This is very important to understand. I was bullied for my strangeness, for my weirdness. None of that matters, because I understand that I am special and so are you. This is no deluded sense of self-importance or even self-acceptance but self-acknowledgement. Nothing external truly matters. You are you and that is something non-replicable. Nobody in the world is exactly like you are. You are someone amazing. You have something to offer.

You are a dragon.

It is enough to understand this yourself, even if no one else does. Because it’s not about everyone else. Still that’s one more person who understands that in themselves and everyone else. I understand it, you do. That already is not no one.

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The Red Dragon- Pain

The red dragon breathes fire, which eventually becomes your own. However in the first instance the red dragon has but one, solitary goal, to burn you. To breathe fire and cook you from the inside. Pain is a cleansing of fire. Few things survive it. But it works as a forest fire does. The old shrub, the weakness, is destroyed, allowing for new shoots, for new strength, to grow and reach the light.

There is a reason that the saying ‘baptism of fire’ exists.

Pain is part of life. It’s very important because it works as a warning- danger, threat. This mainly accounts for physical pain and acts to protect you. The problem with a lot of psychological pain is it serves no purpose but suffering.

Fear, guilt, regret, anxiety, stress. All forms of psychological pain of which there is no need.

But the point is not to fight this pain. You agitate the dragon, you only make it angrier, the pain more fierce. When you accept the pain however and observe it, allow it to be, the fire, instead of scorching you flows out of you as your own.

Overcoming hardship you gain strength. That wonderful feeling when you overcome something you never dreamed you would. You feel on top of the world! You’re breathing fire. But if you hadn’t let the pain of the process, the difficulty the hardship, burn you first, the fire would never have escaped. To succeed and to achieve, in whatever sense, be it be physical, spiritual, financial requires you to undergo this process.

You start and never push through, once again you agitate the red dragon. It burns you but does not breathe enough fire for it to become your own.

A pulsing pain remains but to feel the full force of the fire is to finally be able to breathe it. To harness its power and momentum.

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How Your Dragon Can Give You Instant Confidence

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There are times you need to become the dragon, but mostly this is not the case.

There’s a reason I refer to it as the dragon within.

It’s not about being aggressive, arrogant or pushy. It’s about carrying an inner confidence with you ALL the time. You can feel truly liberated within yourself, you don’t have to prove yourself to anybody. Why? Because secretly you are a dragon.

Once you realise this and become aware of it, you won’t need to ‘build your confidence’. You will have access to it right here, right now. What you will need to build is practising that awareness, practising that realisation that the dragon was and is always there.

Take a moment and think of a favourite action, adventure or martial arts film. Now there’s always a hero/heroine. Chances are you dream of being this person.

What sets the hero apart? What usually makes them so attractive and identifiable?

He or she is usually perceived as quiet, calm , they never tend to look for a fight, but when it’s time to be the hero they shock everyone. In this phase they usually either overcome their own self-doubt and insecurity, proving it to themselves or else they are the brooding type who knew it all along.

They always have a higher purpose and draw confidence from their inner strength which they ultimately realise they always had and always will have.

Yes confidence can be built but you know what? You have that confidence and that justified defiance in you already! Build instead your belief and understanding of that fact, your belief in the dragon within.

Do you think I was always confident? Aha, nope…. This brings up again the concept of the mental and physical dragon.

As a young girl I was physically strong, my 8 year old body would readily endure hard training my mental and physical dragons came alive and flew together as one during training but outside of this, the mental dragon refused to raise its head because I was unaware of its existence.

I was unaware that confidence, that my dragon, could be consciously realised. It took me a good while.

But I want you to realise today, now, THIS VERY SECOND!

Say it…..No matter how silly you may feel, even if it is in your head to begin with say it:  ‘I am strong’

‘I am confident’

‘I am filled with the power of my dragon, there’s only one person who needs to believe it and that person is me!’

Does some small or hopefully large part of you believe this now? Yes? Good.

Others will follow suit……I promise. 

 


I hope my words are helping you in some small way to realise what you have already and I welcome, no, encourage any comments, ideas, feedback or questions you may have. Please feel free to leave them below.

The Tale of Two Dragons

‘Two?!’ I hear you exclaim, ‘I thought there was only one?’ As seems to be the most confusing concept in most every religion from the Holy Trinity to the Holy Trimurti. All these are aspects of the same whole that appear to follow different purposes but in fact fulfil one ultimate goal.

These two dragons are what I refer to as the ‘Physical Dragon’ and the ‘Mental Dragon’.

Yeah, I haven’t tried to be cryptic and mysterious with the names. As the Dragon refers to your inner strength, the Physical Dragon is your reserve of physical strength. Everyone possesses this reserve. It’s always there but never truly realised till you are pushed to your physical limits. The dragon, the animalistic instinct and power possessed by us all awakes and emerges. People can and have drawn on this dragon in all manner of situations, from the direst of emergency where lives are at stake to being able to do that extra 10 reps in the gym.

The Mental Dragon is all to do with will-power, the mental strength to carry on, and the mental belief in your ability to achieve anything, to persevere no matter how much you want to scream and cry and pull your own skin off. When this dragon takes control of you, you take control of yourself.

Now imagine this, these two dragons that are identical in appearance, circle each other. The smoke of their breath erupts in short huffs from their scaly nostrils. Then they take two steps, extend their wings and lift into the sky. They circle each other, each bites the other’s tail. Their motion must be fluid and continuous in order to keep flying.

It is like the over-used yet ever-relevant concept of yin and yang. Seeming opposites that are part of the same whole constantly moving and mixing to find harmony.

It’s difficult to mentally feel strong if physically you are weak. It is difficult to be physically strong if you are mentally weak. Having both is not essential, but in my experience, they feed each other and are inherent to each other. Both are relative very specifically to you as a person, what you want and what you need to make happen in your life.

Now one example I can think of that illustrates this concept perfectly is the UFC Mixed Martial Arts fight between Gyu Lim and Tarrec Saffiedine. Since this is a fairly recent fight you’ll have to forgive the quality of the video link below, but it serves our purposes here.

This is not about who won the fight. Gyu Lim did not win the fight. What he did do was incite the two dragons and shock us all with his warrior’s spirit.

Naturally I would recommend watching the whole fight but for those of you who aren’t raging MMA or fight enthusiasts I’d like to highlight two crucial points.

At 19 seconds, Lim loses his leg to Saffiedine’s kick. It seems as if the fight is over. Lim limps on and his whole manner changes, determined but physically and now mentally defeated.

4min 46 seconds in Lim is barely surviving. But then the two dragons rouse each other. Right at the end, just as the round is drawing to a close, he unleashes an incredible flurry of strikes and a flying knee that knocks his opponent into a submissive position. This does not win the fight overall but this does not take anything away from what he manages to achieve. Lim’s mental will combined with the underlying strength of his injured body compels him to this act. Without both it could never have happened……

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What is the dragon???

So you’re probably wondering what the heck I mean by the dragon? And “finding it”?…..I can see eyebrows raising.

No, I’m not referring to a boyfriend’s term for what’s in his trousers or to re-creative drug use. I am not currently surrounded by dragons in either the mythical or boardroom sense.

I in fact refer to something you might not have envisaged at all……

When I was a little girl of 6 I engaged in typical little girly pursuits. I played with dolls and drew on my cheeks with my mother’s lipstick…….

As a 6 year old what also began was a question from my dad to my brother and I:

‘So, are you ready to learn how to fight?’

Thus began my training in and introduction to the mysterious world of Martial Arts.

When I was doing well in training, my father had a very specific pet name for me.

It was not “princess” or “flower”. It was “lady dragon”. That was the first time I came to associate the term dragon with empowerment. A power I could only find within myself. As I grew I also understood what it was to feel powerless, to be different, weird, unaccepted and all the time an ironically submissive personality who wanted to please, avoided confrontation at all costs and was honest at my own cost.

So I know how that feels. And I know how to overcome it, that’s what I want to share with you. Fighting was my personal way to find it but Inside us all is a dragon, coiled and waiting. When you realise this, you realise the immense power you possess. It is enough to feel this is true until you know this is true. Is it not a wonderful thing to realise that you have an inner reserve of strength to draw on that is unique to you? Not yet? You will…….